2016年9月22日星期四

一句 “I love you”

接承懿放学后回家。他上楼洗澡。我在厨房切马铃薯(晚餐备用)。

一时个不小心,右手握着的刀切到了左手食指。手指第三节多了一条约1.5cm的“线”, 细细的。那条“线”慢慢地分开了。血开始参透。

我到另一个洗手盆前清洗伤口。呼~还好伤口不深。很快地止血了。

抹干双手,准备要搽黄药水。楼下没有棉花棒。我对着楼上高声喊:“Sam, 你冲好了没有?”

“好了。在换衣服。”

“你下来的时候,拿 cotton buds下来给我。”

“OK. 两支够吗?” 我说可以。

我拿了黄药水,坐在客厅的长沙发上,等承懿下来。

他一下来,把两支棉花棒交给我,在我身旁坐了下来。

“妈咪,你要 cotton buds 做什么?”

我把受伤的手指,对他扬了扬:“妈咪切到手指,流血咯。现在要搽药。”

他愣了一下, 小小声问:“serious吗?”

我摇摇头:“没有啦。stop bleeding 了。要搽药消毒一下而已。“ 我一边说,一边扭开黄药水的瓶盖, 要处理伤口。

他忽地上半身往左边一侧, 半个身子在我身后躺了下来,伸出双手抱着我的肥腰 , 有点夸张的语气说:" I love you. I don't want you to die."

突然间的一个躺下来动作已经吓到我, 再加上那句 “I love you”, 真的让我又好气又好笑。

“不用怕。这种小小的刀伤,妈咪不会死的。快点去做你的功课。不要气我就好。”

“Yes, madam。” 他连跑带跳地进书房。

一个小伤口,换到了一句 “I love you”。有点因祸得福的感觉。

2016年9月15日星期四

过节吃饭

”boy, 等一下你上完课,不用打包。妈咪直接載你回家。”
(通常他上完珠心算课会到楼下的茶室打包杂菜饭)。

“ok。但是 为什么不用打包?”

“dad今晚回来和我们吃饭。I mean去外面一起吃饭。”

“哦~~”

“你知道为什么 dad 要回来和我们 dinner 吗?”

“因为今天是中秋节。”

“bingo!dad说他会提早回来和我们一起过节。”

他点点头、微微笑。

承懿的胖爸爸没有给他做过菱角的小玩意。

不过,我希望以后孩子在农历八月十五这一天,会记得他的胖爸爸,曾经努力提早下班回家,和他一块吃饭过节庆中秋。


中秋节, 想念爸爸

那天,要帮胖老爷买几盒月饼送给客户。问他要买什么口味?他说“么都得。” 我说也买一些自己家里吃,承懿喜欢吃莲蓉馅料。

“买粒冰皮geh比你。” 他说不用不用,冰皮月饼不耐久。他再说:“买粒五仁啦。。。切细细旧,慢慢咬,冲杯茶,好好食。。。老豆(我家翁)最钟意食五仁。”

我点头附和:“我爸都系啊。够香wo。 不过后尾冇牙果阵就艰难食咯。所以大家姐买D lum-lum geh比佢食。“

彼此说起了爸爸生前爱吃的月饼。说起了我们小时候的中秋节。

他们家没有所谓的过节。我们家有。祖母还会拜月亮(广东人叫拜月光) ,妈妈准备一大堆祭品~除了月饼、月光饼(白白一块圆圆的)、公仔饼、小芋头、菱角、花生、水果等等。算是挺隆重的。

说起了祖母的叮咛:“唔好用手指指住月光。耳再会中割咖。” 而小时候的我真的深信不疑, 会很小心地收起我的手指。我很怕我的耳朵受伤啊。(想起来,还真觉得好笑!)

也说起了我爸给我们做的“菱角拉车子”的小玩意。就是把菱角上下左右挖几个小洞,中间插只比较粗的 lidi, 再穿些线过去,伸缩伸缩地拉,菱角会动起来。在物资贫乏的年代,这个小玩意可以让我们乐很久。

边说,嘴角不经意笑了:“我爸整几个咖,一人一个(我们三姐弟嘛)。”

胖老爷搭腔:“我都未玩过尼样嘢。其实你爸都唔系真geh咁严肃啊。仲会嘥时间整D嘢比你地玩。”

说得也是。我爸只是沉默寡言,并不代表他不爱孩子。

这一个中秋节, 想念爸爸了。当然也想念妈妈。

2016年9月10日星期六

迷彩大头鞋,有爱


一直以来我都喜欢迷彩。总觉得它man+豪气+英勇。

中间的斜背包是我的,用了好几个月。

刚才晚饭后,胖老爷去买凉鞋。一进店里看到最新的款式,二话不说,拿来试穿。

承懿也说他要买一双,脚上穿着的略嫌紧了些。

一胖一瘦都拿了迷彩系列。我知道这是他们含蓄的表达方式。

他们爱我宠我。

完全收到。谢谢!


2016年9月9日星期五

心暖暖的雨天

细语纷纷的早晨。家里两位爷准备出门。一个上班。一个上学。

我打伞“护送”。先是胖老爷,他把笔电背包放进车里。再绕回去门口。他要换 safety boots。

趁此空档,我“护送”承懿上车。再折回去找胖老爷。

他已经换好鞋子,在屋檐下候着。对着我笑。

“sorry 啊~爱比令郎上车先。而家到你。”

他揽着我的肩 :”我都唔系等你黎遮我。我等你行过黎,锡下,我至返工。“

然后亲了我的额头一下, 说声拜拜, 三步当两步跑着上车。

承懿在车里对着我笑并挥挥手。

下雨的早上,空气湿润,有点凉意。心~很暖哦。

2016年9月7日星期三

舒服的关系

来了一则短讯。

她说过来我家拿东西。

我说可以。问她几点,我说我要冲凉。

她叫我去冲凉。她说她去买咖啡。问我拉铁ok吗?

我发了个 一个圆圈三只手指过去。然后我上楼mandi kerbau。

下楼没多久后,她的车子到了。

开门进来。她直接到餐桌坐下,开始吃她很迟的午餐。

我开了笔电对她说不好意思,我先做一件重要的事(上网和学校约时间见老师)。

我们有一句没一句地聊。

我的嘴巴虽然在答话,眼睛则一直盯着笔电屏幕(要“抢” time slot)

然后她站起身来要走了。

临走前她打开后车厢,从一个纸袋里拿出她刚刚买的衣服给我看。

她说布料好好穿。我伸手摸了摸新衣服。

然后她走了。我进屋锁门。回到餐桌收拾。

【我喜欢这种关系。舒服的关系。不需要太客气的关系。】


2016年9月4日星期日

喜欢

今天匆匆忙忙回了趟怡保探望家婆。和她老人家出去吃午餐。

吃饱饱后在餐厅外的走廊,走着去泊车的地方,我对身后的承懿说:“boy, 来。 看这里。我们拍 selfie。”

他老实不客气地酱揽抱他妈我的颈项(还好力量控制得宜,我没有窒息而亡, 哈哈哈)。

承懿时常在我和他胖爸爸面前很搞怪。我的孩子=我的冤家。成天被我念被我骂, 还好是我念了之后、骂了之后,他还是会笑嘻嘻地和我亲近和我玩。

我喜欢这张照片。

虽然素颜、虽然脸庞很大、虽然脸上的鱼尾纹和斑点一露无遗。

虽然他张开大嘴露出牙箍、虽然他没有帅气地笑笑。

我还是喜欢这张照片的真情流露。


2016年8月30日星期二

爱的臭豆


来~开饭咯。

结婚之前, 我不吃臭豆。因为第二天尿尿会有异味。小时候,家里餐桌上偶尔会出现这一道菜, 妈妈总说吃臭豆对我们的尿袋好。但, 我还是不吃。

新婚那几年,就我们两个人吃饭。在家下厨就煮些容易的。那时候十之八九他掌厨, 绝对不会煮我不爱吃的东西。


其实他爱吃臭豆。

后来我在家当煮妇, 很“哎呀” (广东话=马马虎虎)
那种。来来去去是屈指可数的菜色。没什么变化。还要是最简单最容易的。

后来的后来,发现他在外吃杂菜饭时, 会勺参巴肉碎臭豆。只是那切得很小块的臭豆, 吃完一碟饭可能加起来不到五粒。少得可怜。

再后来的后来,胖爸爸竟然教他的宝贝儿子吃这一道菜。出乎意料的,承懿居然不嫌豆豆的臭, 反而很爱吃。

所以家里两位爷爱吃的菜, 我唯有少数服从多数,学习煮。同时也学习吃。(当然我吃的分量比他们少)

很多时候,我们的习惯, 会因为爱而改变。改变并不代表失去了自我,或者没有坚持原则。只是这爱里头,多了一份包容。


2016年8月24日星期三

她让我看到孩子的另一面

今年3月杪的最后一堂课。我吩咐承懿要和老师合照。
承懿在2008年3月开始去上理惠老师的课。基本上是一对一的课。一个星期一次。总共上了8年。一段不算短的日子。

今年3月(很奇妙的还是3月),承懿因为学校活动时间的一些调动,和理惠老师的课“撞期”,配合不到其他时间,最后唯有和理惠老师说bye-bye。

而上个月放假,我特别要求理惠老师给承懿上“假期班”, 她也答应。所以他俩再续师生缘,承懿去上了四个课程。

非常感谢用心的理惠老师, 她是承懿生命中的贵人。是真的(当初我听从她的劝告,不再让承懿服药,而是利用每天的肢体运动、协调动作来提升他的专注力)。

我要求承懿写一篇有关理惠老师的文章, 他当然呱呱叫。不过最后还是交货了。写完之后他有点夸张地说:“妈咪,要想这么多年前在 Teacher Rie那里做过的事,很难咯。也很痛苦。” 我听了大大声笑。

孩子,难也好,痛苦也好,想想这些年来她对你的用心和帮助,要好好记得。要谢谢!

妈咪尤其谢谢理惠老师让妈咪看到你的另一面。

======================
I’m known to be a special kid, diagnosed with dyspraxia and ADD that affects my coordination and attention. I didn’t want this, but I just happened to be born like this. So I had no choice but to live with it.

However, my mother was keen on making me change my state so that I could let all these disorder not affecting my life entirely and also, let me fit in with other people so that I looked like a normal person. Other than my mother, there was one other person who also assisted me to fix my coordination and attention problems: Ms. Rie.

I first met her when I was seven. I took a small IQ test and she was quite pleased with my results. After that, I started attending her classes every Monday for an hour in the morning when I was in primary school. I remember that I did some exercises such as throwing bean bags and balls, doing some math questions in a specific way such as model drawing, techniques to improve my handwriting and so on. I have to admit, it was actually quite a hard time doing all those things!

Sometimes, there were also other activities that did not involve throwing stuff around with both of my hands. There was some time where I made my own artwork using some materials such as special crayons that were made out of beeswax. There was one exercise that I would do when I was 8 to 12 years old, it was called the “lazy 8”. So basically, what I had to do was to get the yellow, blue and red beeswax crayons and choose one of them at first. After that, I would use the crayon to draw an “8” shape, lying on it’s side, so it looked like the infinity side. Once I was done drawing the “8” shape with one colour, I would select the second colour and continue to draw over the first “8” shape. The same rule applied to the third crayon. Later on, I realized that this activity was to test if your left and right brain were both connected to each other and to see if your mental state was balanced. It was quite an interesting activity, actually.

Also, the exercises such as throwing the beanbags and balls were meant to improve my hand and eye coordination. I would throw the objects from one hand to another, and back again. Sometimes there were also different styles to how these things were passed. One style was that I had to throw it under my leg and to the other hand. The other one involved me throwing 2 of the objects in each hand, and sometimes switching the objects to the other hand without looking! That was also one of the harder exercises that I had to do. However, it actually works and I’ve been doing this same exercise for about 7 years!

I also learnt a bit of Japanese there, and knew how to differentiate the letters of Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. In fact, the letters and phrases in Kanji were kind of similar to the phrases that appeared in the Chinese vocabulary! I learnt some basics such as how to count numbers, names of countries, and also some other basic phrases with Ms. Rie. However, I didn’t’ really manage to get good at it, and I had very few opportunities to test my Japanese oral skills in life.

Sometimes, Ms. Rie would also let me do my own art in some of her lessons. Once, I used some powder from a special crayon to make my own artwork by dabbing some of the coloured powder onto my finger. Then, I would slowly press my finger onto the paper and move it up and down, and controlling my pressure on the paper. After some time when everything was done, I had produced some artwork that looked decently nice. I would then spray the paper with some kind of aerosol so that the powder would stick to the paper. When I got home, I would place the picture somewhere visible such as the fridge, so that I could admire my “masterpiece”. (Ha-ha, not really.)

这种颜料好像是粉彩画吧。。。(我不确定)

我特别喜欢这一张。因为是小狗狗的关系吧。

Another type of drawing involved me drawing random curved lines onto a piece of paper, forming irregularly shaped areas of different sizes on the paper. I would then take 2 black ink pens and start creating different patterns in each area, so that every single area has its own unique pattern. For one area, I would make it checkered by splitting the area into smaller parts, and then colour one square black, one square white, one square black, one square white, alternating between colours to add that “checker board” feel. It felt great to look at the end product once I was done.

承懿比我厉害, 会画禅绕。

假期班的功课。用黑笔画图案,然后上水彩。

Also, recently Ms. Rie had been conducting a session called a “Brain Gym” which was basically helping me to conquer my weaknesses and also let me excel in my strengths. She had helped me to improve my listening and comprehension skills, which helped me to listen to pieces of information for a longer period of time. I also had developed the ability to type documents at a faster rate, so that I could conserve time for some other activities. It was strange about how she found out what I really needed at the time, or what was most important. I would read out a sentence, such as “I want to improve my listening skills so that I could listen to information for a longer period of time.” She would then press down on my hand, and my body would react, sending signals if that was really what I needed to do. It was strange. After that, she would let me do some exercises to help me to achieve my goals.

After these 7-8 years of “therapy” lessons, I felt that Ms. Rie had actually helped me to make an improvement in my life and I would like to thank her for all that she has done. Now, I was more able to fit into the society and I had learnt a lot of things. Now, whenever I encounter difficulties in my life, I have several solutions to solve the issues by doing the exercises she had taught me.

很可爱的纸陀罗。真的可以转。我试了。


承懿把这一块板和这一堆五彩缤纷、重叠的线
构成的图案拿
回来时, 我有点呆了!
(他的努力,专注力和耐性)


2016年8月22日星期一

黑妈妈的新书

上个星期三晚上跑了趟书店。找不到洁玲的新书。应该当天上架。承懿有少少失望。

隔天, 我们到另一家商场的另一家书店,还是找不着。承懿失望到半死。(我知道他是想趁着假期最后那几天,可以读完黑妈妈的小说。)

昨天晚上我们在外用餐。点餐之后,他死心不息要去书店找书。这一次不再失望了。

书买回来了, 点的菜肴也上桌了。先喂五脏庙。吃饱之后,他开始啃小说。

今天放学之后,他继续啃。

刚才晚餐过后,他正开着电视要看新闻。对我说:“妈咪, 可以告诉 aunty洁玲, 我看完她的小说了。”

“那好看吗?”

“好啊!只是ending 有点 sad。”


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